bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
