So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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