Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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