There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if only i could text you this smell
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
