i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
