There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
