I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
