hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
