he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
