I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize