I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
