no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
