So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Randomize
