Sry I called you an 8
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
