kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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