Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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