They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
