Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
