Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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