Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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