is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
