I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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