The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
