Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
