So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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