hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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