wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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