Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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