the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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