i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
