You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
