nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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