I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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