TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
