Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
