its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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