do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
