how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize