I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
