Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
