Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can you repeat that, but with context?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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