just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
