Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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