But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
