you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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