things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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