There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My ass is underappreciated
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
