how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
