ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
