We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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