Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
