Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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