sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
