I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
