shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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