kristin has been a bad kristin
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think my moral compass just broke
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
