Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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