I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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