At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
