Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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