I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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