idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
