Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
