Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
