Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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