Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize