MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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