Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i believe in u and ur pee
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
