don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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