Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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