and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
