I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
