I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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