Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize