i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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