Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm at about main and main street
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize