508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
